Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The Past

The Ghost of the past would never stop haunting a person's life. We all have our own stories to tell. And mines about all my major past mistakes that almost got me suicide. 2009 was the hardest year I've been through so far. I can never forget what happened at that very year. 12 years old and sitting for UPSR. New kid to SK Sg Pusu and was trying to shine through the darkness .

The beginning was okay for me. Had new friends, got my english teacher proud and joined the school's dancers. Everything was smooth till I met a friend. Everyone told me to be careful with her to not fall for her innocent face and her sweet voice. But I refused to listen to them because I thought they were making rumors. So that was when my beautiful nightmare happens. Well, some questioned me why did I transfer here . It was because of my late School Headmaster. I was late for school because of traffic. My dad and the new Headmaster got into a big fight. I was about to sit for my maths. So the Headmaster asked for me to meet her when I've finished my paper. She advised me to transfer and that was pretty much it. Then this guy suddenly came into my life, A. He completed everything for my senior year at Middle school. He made my beautiful nightmare to a tragedy I'll never forget. Not to mention all of those pressure from my teachers. My friends would be like "Aina, tadi Cikgu Norani dgn Cikgu Khashiah cakap pasal kau . Kata kau ada peluang dapat 5A la" and "Aina, aku nak jadi kau untuk satu hari" and "Best tak popular?". When they have problems with their academics, they'd come to my desk asking for help knowing that I can solve this. In their mind "It's just a piece of cake to her, I mean she's a braniac". I was juggling my dance practices for states and Turkey and my exams. It was hard driving the car on that road. I couldn't take it. It was too much. 

Its like I'm a whole new diamond everyone wanted to have me. They think I was having this fancy life. Never been scolded or beated by parents, not burdened with chores, not having any problems . I was hiding all that from them. It was okay hiding it for a couple of months. Was happy with the so called love of my life that time until I created a masive nuclear that blew up the whole school. Then I ended up trying to jump off the schools building. Thank Allah Syahmi, A and Ain was there with Seri. I've been hurting myself, making cuts at my hands close to my pulse. Yeah, it did bled and I did it all over again. Then UPSR was coming round. More pressure was hitting me hard. I didn't even study for it much. But alhamdulillah I managed to do well. Maths was the easiest among all of the other papers. Then books closed, I was going to put on a play for the schools English Month. But it seemed to be canceled because I got into a huge fight with a frined of mine Aishah Aliah. It should be my friends fault but she blamed me. Then we were okay when suddenly her mom died.

Soon enough, it was my dancing carier in trouble . My parents didn't like me dancing because we weren't paid for the job . I told my teacher about it and she insisted to pay us then . The reason she didn't pay us is that she used the money to buy our costumes and accessories and some other equipments. I remember fighting with my dad on his birthday about this. Oh I was so angry I left them at the restaurant and raced for the toilet.

Holidays were arriving soon. I was bestfriends to a guy, Muhd Syahmi. Oh I loved that guy! We did everything together until people misunderstood us as a couple. So we had a personal chat with the Head Discipline Teacher and was adviced to no be so sclose. Then it was the year six festival and then the holidays. I've changed to a better person now than I used to be, I learned to control my emotions and balance myself. And I succeded and I needed to be consistent about it


  1. Idk if you believe this or not, but i read from the top till the last word. Sooo tiring ! HAHAHA. Wait, were you sksp's ex student ?

  2. wow, rajin gile, LOL . Yeah, you too?

  3. haha, ofc. wait, yeah i was. do you know cikgu maryati, the maths teacher ?

  4. yup, die ajar tak best xD Cikgu /salina ajar maths GEMPAK

  5. KEJAM. best la die ajar. btw, che' salina isnt she ? Mmg best pon, baik gile.

  6. bukan che salina, cikgu Salina . Cikgu Che salina ajar mengantuk, tak faham xD Cikgu affendi ajar science baru power!