Friday, December 31, 2010

New Chapter

Its the first of January 2011
Thank you to everyone who wished me hnp
I Love You buddy, next time jumpa kene lah kau dengan aku xD
I miss my baby :'( Love you :D *MwahhMwahh
I'm a Form2 =.= shit


I don't remember when this happened but Megat's little brother Little Megat read his diary -.-' Welcome to facebook . I was really trying to change the topic and not let him tell me what he read . But, he won so, he blurted out what he read to me, huh . And what did he read?

"It was all about u"

Oh God, your brother was the one who ruined my life . I was just like "Okay, that make no sense" . I was trying so hard not to know what Megat wrote about me . I was pretty shocked actually and I really just can't believe Little Megat . And then he told me Megat just broke up with Kendall and he effing hates her and he's with a new girl . Wow, cepaaaaat gila mamat ni move on =.= And then terus text dia tanya okay ke tak . And then suddenly "I can't find my diary" . That gave me a weird feeling, I think they set me up but, I don't know . Then, we faught -.- Again, aku yang kene blame . Okay, fine, whatever, you know nothing but blaming me again and again -.- I hate you
And then time online facebook add this guy, dia boyfriend Wani . And then, found out dia kawan Amer . Okay, We're still enemies . I rejected him and he started being rude and I instantly hated him -.- I had to end the fight, I felt guilty . I was going through my contacts, oh yes! Number dia still ada . Texted him awhile, he forgot me . Then, I gave him a clue "I rejected you, I adik Alya Farhanah, I Aina Farihah. Tak ingat, nevermind, byee" . Niceeee go Aina -.- Okay, nak new year, berbaik baik lah kan kan O:)
Huh, shoot best :D I'm satisfied but right now, well later, ada lagi -.-' Yeah, we shoot pagi pagi sebab tak ada kereta lalu dekat parking lot xD Gambar Mimi dah siap, Yay . OMG, its 2011 -.- Wow, I'm so effing happy =.= When am I gonna effing stop coughing? Give it a break man, schools starting . Goodnight 

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Journey to the end

Faris, I'm coming :) We're coming . Wait for us buddy

YAY, today visit Faris senyap senyap xD Ibu Abah ada apetah so they won't be home . Ayah Elias hantar lagi :D Happy Birthday Aiza Firzanah = =' I still hate you kiddo . Heh, 2010 is ending . Gotta open a new book for 2011 which is sooooooooo not easy for me . Every new year, everyone is happy . Me? Huh . Not a chance . Tak sukanya batuk = =' Bila nak habis? Nak new year lah = ='

2010 showed me a lot of things, emotions and situations . I'm not the most intelligent girl . The prettiest female or even the star of the show . We all deserve something for our doings and intentions . Victory, be careful . Fame, earn it . Love, care for others . Eventhough we all have standards it doesn't make us different . Treat others like you treat your loved ones . Happiness is a great feeling . Pretending won't bring any good to you . Be amazing in your own special way . Change is good . Sometimes you gotta be a devil . Don't be shy, you'll regret . If you want something, go chase it . Get up and try again . We all have secrest . Miracles happen everyday . Don't believe anything you tell yourself, you are your own worst enemy . Nobody's perfect . Making mistakes is normal, we learn . Failure doesn't mean we're stupid, it means we tried for something . Appreciate every little thing . Allah is always the best

2010 was a ride . A fun ride that tought me so many things, more to life . Appreciate what you have now before its gone . Things doesn't always goes the way you planned it would . Remember, everything comes from The All-Mighty

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Blessed be

I'm lucky, kan? I got awesome friends, The most amazing boyfriend and a great family . Thats enough to make me smile . Ya Allah, thank you so much for blessing me with great people in my life . I really really appreaciate that . Please, give me the strength to make a fresh start for 2011 . I hope my grades won't drop again . I hope I could continue dancing . I hope my friends are still there for me . I hope my relationship with Him lasts long . I hope the haters keep on striking revenge on me . I hope I can be stronger and much more patient . I hope I could join the debate team . I hope the school's choir doesn't suck next year . I hope I could balance my time next year . I hope I can't control my emotions and my diet . I hope something good would happen to Faris . I hope next year would be better :)

Monday, December 27, 2010

Merry Monday

Yesterday, went to Klcc . As usual, I'm freaking late 2 hours again -.-' Sampai je KL Sentral dah jumpa Rahim and Kak apetah xD Sorry :'( Then because of Kaklong worries my safety so much, they sent me to Klcc xD Salman, Syamil and Hanif dah tengok Tron Legacy 3D without me :'( Okay fine . I was really shy to show my face because I was late like shit -.-' . But, I've already wasted my time coaxing them to come and promised to spend some money on them, so, just show up Aina and don't dissapoint them

Okay, sampai sampai je dah berlari pergi food court . And then had to turn around to Starbucks -.-' Met Hanif . Then walk walk walk, met Salman and Syamil . Salman was freaking tall -.-' Then sat down for a meal at the food court . Time tu, tersalah hantar text -.-' I was suppose to send it to Erza but entah macam mana tah boleh terhantar dekat Syamil -.-' That was embarrassing

After that cari baju Hanif . Macam macam lah cita rasa dorang . I'm a girl so I know nothing about what guys like xD Went to Graffi Tee, Giordano, Romp, tak jumpa "The One" . Then took the lrt to Sri Rampai and went bowling at Wangsa Walk Mall . Lama gila tunggu -.-' tu yang malas nak main . Tapi time main dorang semua bengang xD Ahaha, and then ada lah time tuh, tak habis habis knock down 9 pins straight . Syamil takut aku strike lagi xD Saw some senior -.-' Muiz eh? Eihh, lantaklah . Habis game, cabut pergi A&W and belanja dorang . Time balik terus separate . It was fun with them, Thank You you guys :D Kaklong went mad because I went back to Klcc alone xD Who else was worried? Erza and Maam, hahaha

Sampai Klcc, shop . Met Elias, Paan and Hazim again -.-' Asyik jumpa dorang je cuti ni . Pergi Maxis Center dah beratur nak buat number . Tiba tiba Kaklong cakap kena ada IC -.-' Okay, merajuk, took a cab to Times Square . Sampai je terus shop . Beli baju, cardigan, kasut, belt, buku . Chocolate? No chance T_T Balik naik monorail pergi KL Sentral and then berpisah dengan Rahim, he was coooool . The train was late and I was hungry . Bought food at Mcd . Bila nak makan baru perasan salah order -.-' Merajuk, taknak makan . Tapi makan jugak akhirnya = ='

Sampai je, Abah dah ada . He was okay . Ibu abah tak marah pun balik lambat, WOO, AWESOMEE . Balik je kena call Erza, talked for one hour xD Then stay up sampailah sekarang . Pukul 4, siap nak turun bawah . Kena simbah air lagi = =' Balik, online . To Maam, Megat, Hanif, Sunil and Syamil . Sorry tak call/ balas text . My phone was dead, buduh betul -.-' Sekarang, aku nak tidur!

Sunday, December 26, 2010

Give me way

Semalam tidur awal, again . Petang tu best gila xD Elias, Mimi and Me campak segala belon air dekat budak straight A's, padan muka Zahar xD Awal awal lagi dia dah kuyup dulu . And then Zahar's Mom joined us with a cake, yummm . Dah habis tu, I bought more ice creamm :D and balik rumah . Kalau boleh, aku nak habiskan ice creamm tu sekarang jugak T_T
I don't know what happened between me and him yesterday . I was so depressed and worried . And then call Maam, dapat lupa sekejap benda tuh . Gelak gelak, menjerit, Haha . And then text Hanif, tertidur terus -.-' Sedar sedar je phone tengah memekak . Erza called Ya Allah, alhamdulillah . Risaunya aku, thanks for calling again Baby

And then check phone, ada text from Hanif . Astaghfirullah, aku dah tidur sebelum dia suruh tidur . Haha, sorry Hanif . Malam tu terus text Hanif and Syamil again about today's plan . Dorang nak tengok 2 movies -.-' Salman mula mula nak tengok 3 = =' Then 2 pulak . Okay, yang aku takut sekarang ni, Wan . Susah gila nak contact dia . Dah la kiteorang tukar venue . Maam hantar message through Facebook . I hope he shows up :D And I hope I'm not the only girl, again -__________-

Aku taktau nak buat apa lagi dengan 3 senior tu hari ni -.-' Eh Salman, so ni la hangout yang kau janji kan? Ingat tak? Whoa, it came true xD Syamil, you better come . PLEASE . Aku tukar sekolah nanti habislah . Maam, sorry that my answer is dissapointing but, I decide not to stay . I'm sorry . Zahar, if you're reading this, pass me Mimi's photos nanti . Oh and speaking of photos, budak 2 Rasional next year dapat kelab photography . Menjerit aku, sumpah tak puas hati gila nak mati -.-' Baby, we're good ea? YAY :D

LOL, I'm done, later..

Friday, December 24, 2010

Celebrations :D

23 December was wondeful . I was more excited than all the third formers -.- Haha . Congragulations to all third formers . I am really so really really proud of everyone . To me, 3A's is already enough to make me smile . Semalam result my sister keluar first, 8A's . Alhamdulillah . And then dah start excited nak tau result yang lain . Rang Zahar, 8A's . Alhamdulillah . And then rang Uncle Zulkifli, Faris dapat 8A's too, Alhamdulillah . If only he was here :'( After that rang Hanif, belum keluar lagi -.- Then rang Syamil, "Aku tau la kakak kau dah keluar" Eihh -.-'

Heh, then on the phone with Maam for half an hour xD Thats us, lama lagi pun boleh xD Entah macam mana boleh tertidur lepas tu =.=' Bangun pukul 4 lebeh xD Ahaha . Check phone, Maam 8 missed calls, Syamimi 2 missed calls, Zahar 4 missed calls, Elias 3 missed calls, Kak Aisyah 1 missed call . Sorry you guys, aku kuat tidur xD Haha Call Zahar, dia ajk celebrate his achievement . But I can't, I got other plans, sorry bro

Malam tuh had dinner at Chili's Grill Bar . Yo, I love that place! Betapa banyak dish kiteorang order = =' Elok elok tengah jaga badan sekarang kena pergi jogging balik . Haih, best gila dinner! Haha, we we're like "Ibu nak ni" Mom angguk je xD I Love You Mummy . Paling best makan Molten apetah xD Sedap gila . Habis je, lepak jap and balik!

And then Zahar suddenly text "Aina, ko kat Chili's en" Gila terkejut = =' Aku dah syak dia stalk oh . Rupa rupanya dia pun ada xD Aku tak nampak kau la, sorry sorry . Kenyang sangat xD Sampai rumah terus tidur . And then Syamil text -.-' kacau betul . And then dia tak balas, aku ambillah kesempatan sambung tidur xD Thats it

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Eight, Lapan, 8

Okay . Afiqah Rahma, ni feedback untuk that lapan segala lapan apa entah xD Seriously, aku terkejut bagai nak mati tengok nama aku first dalam "8 people to tag" kau . Apa yang membuatkan aku memberi balas maklum? Sebab 8 things I learned this year :) *And aku tak buat ranking, tak suka sebab semua sama number1! :D*

8 Things I passion about
- My amazing boyfriend :DDDDDDDDDDD . I love you baby <333333
- My awesome friends :DDDDDDDDDDDD . The best I've ever had <33333
- Money . I shop like crazy *wink*
- Shoes . My favourite
- Ice-cream and a bunch of chocolates . Can't live without them
- Music . Calms me like a lot
- Photography . Its great :D
- DANCING . Its what I can never stop doing

8 things I say often
- Gempak
- I love you <3333333 . To my dearest Boyfriend and the awesomest friends ever!
- Eihh -__________________-
- I want ice creamm T_T
- Look, go die . LOL, bila malas nak layan macam ni lah xD
- Errr, tak boleh . Ramai sangat mintak benda tahun ni -.-'
- WOISH . entah kenapa entah -.-'
- JOM . Berangan nak keluar xD

8 books I read recently *I don't read a lot, so just accept this*
- Al- Quran
- Buku True Singaporean Ghost Stories
- Mr. Midnight
- Buku Sekolah
- House of Night Novel series
- Textbooks
- News papers . ???????
- *blank

8 songs I could listen over and over again
- Living in your eyes, Hitomi No Jyuunin
- Lifeline, Papa roach
- Pretty Girls Rock, Keri Hilson
- Hey, Mithcel Musso
- Us against the world, Westlife
- Officialy yours, Craig David
- Deuces, Chris Brown
- Superman, Joe Brooks

8 things I learned this year
- Don't stay on the ground when you're crushed into the dirts
- Forever strong
- Cry, and throw away the disillusions
- Friends are forever
- If you get the chance, take it . If it changes your life, let it
- Don't trust everyone
- Everything happens for a reason
- Go take the High Road

8 people to tag

What do you think? Personally, I wanna tag more people but, if its 8, then its 8! Nak tag Kak Mia, Kak Leya dengan Kak Mayamin :'( Dengan Ain and Una :'( Tapi dia mintak 8 :'( Hmm :'( Haha, dah TERtag pulak xD Afiqah, thank you :) Lain kali buat 23 tau? xD Mampos nak list banyak-banyak haha

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Reaching the stars

Alya Farhanah Faris Zulkifli Abdul Zahar Muhammad Hanif Syamil Fuad Salman Sazli Amira Fadzlin Nur Aliyah Nur Shuhadah Azri Mayamin Raja Ahmad Taufiq Mohd Harris Aina Awatif Aiman Zuhaidi Megat Umar Ryan Yulaina Yahya Ahmad Samhan Azriq Azhar Abdul Hadi Ikmal Shamil Aimi Sayuti Ain Syahirah Anes Sofea Nur Faqihah Fatin Amira Kamil Zahar Hafizul Hakim Arif Azrai Syed Ahmad Afif Farhan

Goodluck tomorrow ea? I wish you the best and hoping you'll achieve good results . Siapa dapat 8A's wajib belanja this little girl named Aina Farihah xD Haha, okayokay . Belanja sama belanja, deal? HEE ;D


Theres no news on Faris . I'm so worried

Waking up

Look, I'm human . I'm not perfect . I'm not the cinderella you wished for . I'm not an angel you think I am . I'm not a bitch you guessed I am . I'm not Cruella Devil you pray to stay away from . So people, we have free will . Everyone has their own mind of thoughts . Yeah, tell me that you love, like, adore me . And tell me that you hate, dislike me . I can't stop you . Don't expect anything from me . I just wish you have a happy life and may Allah bless you

More than words

Baby! I'm so happy you called . I miss you so bad :'( You're so busy now! Hey, next time, sleep okay? You need to rest . You can't stay up all night programming okay? I don't want anything to happen to you too


Tuesday, December 21, 2010

In my head


Sukacita pihak sekolah menawarkan anak tuan / puan, menduduki Asraam Sekolah Menengah Kebangsaan Sungai Pusu, bagi sesi persekolahan 2011, berdasarkan butiran berikut:

Nama : Aina Farihah Bt. Mohd Tarmizee
Kad Pengenalan : 970423-**-****
Tingkatan : 1 Amanah
Status Tawaran : Keutamaan
Tarikh Pendaftaran : 02/01/2011, 8.30 a.m

Everyone confuse . If I stay, kene tempah tudung baru, kene labuh paras siku . Bazir je dah beli tudung . But if I don't stay asrama, no one can send me to school kalau form1 sesi petang . Ibu was like "Ataupun kita terus hantar masuk sekolah perempuan tu kan Abah?" And Dad was like "Eh, tak boleh . Banyak kes ragut sekarang" And I was like "Mom, I'm not 14 yet :P you woudln't want anything to happen to me kan kan? xD" And my sister was like "Ala, tak payah la stay Aina" Heh, what do you guys think? Eishh, peraturan baru dia ketat gila nak mati . My sister punya peraturan lagi ketat .


Thank Allah I don't need any teddy bears to sleep . Kasut hitam tak beli lagi -.- Nak jadi pengawas xD Haha, mana ada lah . Pelajar KRK this year kasut hitam . I think KRK pagi actually, sebab cikgu cakap pasal nak stay sampai petang as in afternoon class . Eihh, tak guna lah kalau macam tu sebab dah ngantuk . So, takde ilmu masuk bila mengantuk actually xD Terutama time science, wajib tidur xD Tapi result science okay! Haha, eihh . Entahlah, memang decision tak tetap lagi . I think I wanna stay asrama for like a few months first? And see what happens . That was what mom suggested, she gave me 6 months . I want my ice cream again . I got my Una back! YAY It was fun talking to you again Harris, long time no see . 2011, hope its a blast


Reunion . I have nothing to say because I didn't have much fun actually . It was just us with Cikgu Jamsany . Stuck with Ain Afiqah and Siti Aisyah . Everyone was cool, no awkwardness! Syahmi, 23 tak boleh sebab dah tak free . Sorry, next year je la . I wanted to escape and have fun shopping or bowl or watch a movie . But, no one was free -.- So I thought to visit Faris instead . Maam and Erza tak bagi, I can't go alone . Okay fine . Balik rumah, habiskan dark chocolate, tidur xD And then online, budak cari pasal -.- Eh, Pretty Girls Rock okay *kening kening* The lyrics of the song is soooooooo coool . Thank Allah the three most amazing person responded quick . I love you guys . MEF, I miss you so much . I know you're busy and sorry if I disturbed you or something . Okay, nak makan Ice-creamm since dah tak batuk teruk sangat . Haha, memang mengidam gila T_T

Monday, December 20, 2010

Kepp Holding On

I just can't help it . I woke up with a nightmare in my memory . It was Faris . I was with Faris at the hospital . Mimi and Zahar was there . I remembered suddenly a flat line appeared at the EKG . Faris's mom, Puan Aini was shouting, screaming for a nurse . Blank, yeah, I couldn't think of anything . The doctor came in and checked him . He shook his head . What does that mean? Puan Aini cried with a scream at the top of her lungs . Mimi and Zahar sort of understood the whole thing . Tuan Zulkifli, Faris's father entered the room and walked straight towards his beloved wife, and hugged her . 

"Our boy is in a better place now"

Okay, it was it . It was finally IT . That was the ending .
I opened my eyes . Astaghfirullah . And here I am, blogging it . I can't help crying . It won't happen right? Maybe it was a reaction for me being too worried . I tried calling his phone and left a message in his voicemail . Then, I was in the past . The moment I first saw him, he was great . And then our first hang out together . He laughed seeing me, I'm not gonna tell why -.- And then Zahar's pool party, amazing . I was stuck with him, LOL . Hey Dude, please don't go and stay here? I need you, I need you with my journey

Ya Allah, please show me the signs that he'll be okay . I can't do anything but pray . Please Ya Allah, help me, help everyone! Help him . It just too much pressure . Now my senior, my bestfriend's Mother and him is lying at the hospital bed . My bestfriend's Mom, H1N1 . My senior, coma . Faris, coma too? I have no idea . I was able to relax yesterday . But now the frustration is back . I just hope I'm strong enough for all of this . Will I? Am I gonna give up again like I use to? Am I gonna live a misreable life, forever? Will I see his face again? I just hope some news would come up and make me wanna jump over the moon . Can you make that happen? I'm giving myself to you Ya Allah
I'm scared, afraid, that this might be the last goodbye, forever . I'm gonna visit you again . Whatever it takes to see you, I promise . I'm trying, I'm still thinking straight . I'm not gonna jump from a building, no, never again . I wanna go through 2011 with everyone, you .  
So please wake up buddy, I can't lose someone like you

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Emergency Room

Tadi pergi hospital lawat Faris, he is still unconcious . I feel so guilty towards him . Masuk je bilik dia, I covered my face with my hands . He was badly injured . Muka dengan kaki kiri kena balut . I can't hold back my tears . The four of us, Me, Mimi, Zahar and Elias talked with him . Eventhough he was unconcious, I'm sure he could hear kan? It was too much . Writing this post makes me cry, again . He was my bestfriend . If only I noticed the signs . He didn't hung out with us now, normally he does a lot . He would be the one calling us to come down and meet up . But now, I can't say anything . I left my Khatamun Nubuwwah for him . He needed it more than I do . The All- Mighty will protect him, I know so . I just hope I could see his face again, I don't want this to be the last goodbye, forever

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Don't leave

You guys, I have tragic news . Its Faris, he was involved with an accident yesterday . I don't know how it happened because Elias didn't tell me . This news gave me a jolt of shock . Its not good . This is the second accident for this year . He's lying unconcious at the hospital now . Please pray for him?

A : Hello?
E : Aina, me again
A : Oh hey, I
E : I don't know how you're gonna take this news
A : What news? Apa nih?
E : I'm afraid your condition might get much more worse
A : What are you talking about?
E : I'm afraid that you'll cry tongiht and you'll sneak out of the house and like walk around or probably stay up all night because of this and your coughing can get worse and
A : Dude, slow down man . Breathe, and tell me whats the news
E : Its Faris
A : Whats with him?
E : Accident
A : ......... *Hung up*

Tears started to roll down my cheek and hit my bed . I was just about to call him . It was really just too much . After I hung up on Elias, he called again . I ignored . Then he rang me again, I answered, I needed to know how hes doing now . I needed to see him . He needs me

E : Aina, I knew you were going to cry
A : of course man, how am I not suppose to cry, I gotta see him, tonight
E : No, you gotta stay, no going out tonight or tomorrow, rest
A : I don't wanna rest, I need to see him! I need to see him now!
E : I'm not gonna send you there
A : Why not? Faris, why do you do this to me?!
E : Na, be strong, just go to sleep
A : No, how is he now? Is he okay? At the hospital?
E : Ya, at the hospital unconcious, don't worry, he'll be okay
A : Unconcious? *Hung up*

I hung up again, I can't stand it . It was too much pressure in just a day . Elias rang again

E : Na, stay in bed . No walking tonight
A : I need to see him! He needs me!
E : I don't know la na, probably esok Ayah aku nak visit sekali
A : Okay, can you bring a note? And just write down what I'm gonna say? And tell it to him? I'm sure he can hear kan?
E : Jap........................... Okay, ready
A : Faris, please be strong, I need you and i don't want you to go . You're my bestfriend and you cheer me up everyday . I'm sorry for not listening to you yesterday . yeah, I'll rest . I know you can make it through dude, love ya man
E : thats it?
A : tell him that, and if his eyes are open I want you to ask him is there anything he needs to tell me and the others okay? Kau tak buad, aku campak canon kau masuk swimming pool
E : Okay kay, now rest I gtg
A : Remember, nanti aku nak ikut korang tengok dia!
E : Eh, no way . Dah, goodnight
A : eihh, bye -.-

I was just screaming, and crying, and throwing things around . It was too much . My bestfreind is lying unconcious at the hospital, I'm scared if he might go, forever . I can' lose him . I can't lose anyone . Death has been haunting me to long, is he next in line? It couldn't be . Then Syamil texted, He's the first person to know about this . I'm hoping to see your face again Faris, so please don't go and stay strong . And you guys please pray for my bestfriends's mother . Miersya's mom is a H1N1 victim . Please please pray, I don't wanna lose my loved ones, please, not again

Thursday, December 16, 2010

She is Amazing

Heyyo blogger . I'm gonna write! But I don't know how to start -___________-
Maryam Najwa, This is for you girl!

The first day I met you, my school bag was locked in my class -.- Eihh, tak guna siapa yang kunci tuh . Then you came, "Ha, kiteorang pun susah sebab kiteorang prep dekat sini" Talk talk talk, you walked away . With no eyes spying on us, bukak cermin, pecah masuk kelas, ambil beg, blah! Haha . My first thought of you when I saw you I was like "Whoa, Alim :DDDDDD" . And then Mieya told me that she respected you like a lot . I think she adores, admires you man! And you deserve it
Months went by and we suddenly talked to each other . Mostly about TEEEET, haha . I remembered the day I was on my way to the canteen I guess . We met and you were so happy! At first, I was actually suprised that you liked someone like him -.- But who cares? Love is blind . Then we started to get close and hung out with each other
I really felt lucky to have you . You helped me, a lot . I appreciate that you understand me, and I liked you being all silly and crazy all the time . We would talk till its 5 p.m. or something like that . We share music and life experiences . It was great to have someone like you in my life . You really brightened my day . I don't care what people say about you because I see another side of you, and she was so awesome . I like the fact that you're being honest with me and you simply make things okay . Wow, you got a bright future man!

Dude, when can we meet? Eventhough I can't go out now, we'll meet when the book of 2011 opens . I got something for ya! And I need my ehem back, you understand what I'm tryin to say right? Oh great :D Buddy, I'm gonna make you mine! 
I hope this bond that makes us close will stay forever strong . Love ya kiddo

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

If I stay asrama and school next year
Heh, the same thing happens, I think . Fights? Its like a must every year now xD I can study eventhough my friends ajak bercakap time prep -.- Eihh . Time tabled life . Do my own thing . Left out in entertainment and news, a lot . Tak habis habis nak call ibu time balik or tinggal barang or tolong beli bahan untuk scrapbooks or something else . Alim balik . Possitive thinking *Eihh, padahal je* Klinik Kerajaan -____________________- Ambil darah! T.T . Online time ICT only -.- Haters keep striking revenge *Eihh, suka hati koranglah, aku dah malas nak layan* Tired like hell . Kenangan terindah? Maybe :D

If I stay school
Probably takkan dapat offer masuk asrama balik *Mom said* Balik lambat, everytime . Kene follow ibu to work kalau tak sempat hanatr Aina balik -.- Lack of study, no time tables . On computer everytime balik xD Phone :D Songs :D Or turun lepak denagn Mimi, Faris, Elias and Zahar xD Updates on Justin Bieber <33333333 and the world . Chores -.- and babysitting -.- Klinik Swasta, mc lebih xD Tak ambil kesah pasal haters sangat *true, this happens before masuk asrama*

If I go to a new school 
SMK (P) Jalan Ipoh, main option . SMK Sentul Utama, second option . Third option tiada . Missing my old friends T.T Who doesn't? I love them! They can never be replaced! like I said "They're like genuine jewels that you can never find anywhere else" Blending in, strive . Studies, please, I hope I can survive . Balik naik bas . Tapi kene jalan jauh nak balik rumah after turun bus stop -.- On computer everytime balik xD Phone :D Or turun lepak with Mimi, Faris, Elias and Zahar xD Updates on Justin Bieber<33333333 and the world . Chores -.- and babysitting -.- Klinik swasta, mc lebih xD

I seriously need your help before disember ends, but I guess staying is better

Monday, December 13, 2010


I'm feeling upside down today . Coughing all day long . I'm tired
Mom encourages me to stay, I can tell by the way she talks about moving away . Ahh Shit -.- Taknak aku . That place is hell, no way I'm gonna stay there ever again . The kids are driving me insane, mad . I could commit suicide whenever I want! Its too much . I really can't stand that school . *coughing hard* And I don't want to go to any other boarding school, ever . My family says "Senang masuk Universiti" Shit, I don't care . I don't want it . Its like you guys are making your dreams come true and not mine . *coughing hard*

Yesterday visit Sk Sg pusu . Dari jauh boleh nampak my juniors tengah menggila dalam bilik muzik . I was really wishing to stop by and check on them and talk . Tapi dah nampak Hafizah dengan Fauziah and Cikgu Jamsani . Heh -_____________- cancel la . Ada this guy dalam bilik tarian, entah tak perasan muka siapa . But I though Ehsan T.T Hmm, I don't think so . Syamira? Lagi la -.- Dia keluar . Grr, dalam kereta menangis nangis

I'm crushing my own dreams . People are stopping me . Time made me
I don't care a bit what you think . I wanna dance again . If you hate it, go die . Speaking of go die . Menyampahnya dengan Facebook -.- This guy Ronaldo Kaka *Fake Facebook name -.- Eihh, buduh betul* tibe tibe hantar chat, "awak sangat caantik dan comel la, ble kenal?" Eihh, go die . Malas aku nak layan . Sorry

Irfan, sorry . I don't know bila nak keluar and bila boleh keluar . Maam, I think this time no green light anymore . My mom dah bagi pergi reunion, and I wanna meet 
Syahmi <33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
*I Miss you man! Please datang, aku mengharap gila nak jumpa kau*
So, kalau reunion dah pergi, no more hang outs la -.- *cougihng hard* Eihh, nak mati la macam ni . Erza, thanks for the songs, especially Living In Your Eyes . That song made me shed a tear, intro best gila eventhough youtube lembap macam bab1 .

Ayat semua tak betul, macam orang mabuk ke apa -.- I'm done

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Happy Sunday

Yesterday was a blast! First of all, balik seremban -.- and slept for just a night. The next morning, we pack our belongings and went home . Balik je, nak mandi swimming pool . Aiza's idea . Elok elok taknak mandi tiba tiba salin baju -.- Planning nak cycle, latih untuk race . Tayar punyalah pancit nak cycle xD Balik, lepak, record lagu somebody to love xD Best gila . And then beli baju sekolah, balik . Dinner, tidur, zzzzzzzzzzzz

Friday, December 10, 2010


Shit, I feel like crap . I don't know why . I really got nothing in my damn mind . I do but its blank . I feel angry, sad, dissapointed, happy, disturbed, used, misreable, confused and killing myself . This is not what I wanted . Like fcuk, its making me feel freaking awful and just wanna run into a car and die with a smile

To Rezuan, I'm sorry but I don't think I can give my number to anyone anymore . Because theres this retard asshole that keeps calling my damn phone . This stupid anonymous screwed up dumb-assed called for like 9? 10 times? I don't know where he got my number -.- . And I'm sorry for saying taht I didn't have a phone . I can't lie, its so wrong . I don't think you'll be reading this though -.-' But still, I feel guilty for lying to you

And hey buddy, I don't know what is happening to me . I don't know why I cried when you called . I don't know why I cried when you texted me . I don't know why I cried when you apologised . And no I'm not jealous, but I think I'm angry, dissapointed with you? I don't have any idea . This is so awkward . Remember when you asked me did you broke my heart? Well, I guess you did tonight . But I forgive you . And I'm sorry

Thursday, December 9, 2010


Kenapa banyak sangat hang out cuti nih? Kasihan diaorang. Semua aku tak tak dapat follow . I'm so freaking jealous when I see pictures of their hang outs or even talk about how fun it was . I'm like the worlds most noxious animal, they keep me in a cage with tempered glass so that I wont escape an attack humans . How many hang outs did i passed? Its too much, I can't remeber . And theres 6 new invites, Ex-sksp's reunion, Wan's, Hanif's, Hakim's, Nabil's and 1000 guitarist's hang out . Ughh -.- If I have my own car and my own driving license, definitely I'm joining . Duit banyak lagi, saja save sebab hang out . Tengok tengok, haram keluar -.-

Forget it, I can only dream! Anyway, I've been talking to a long lost classmate, Hakim . Whoa, I so miss him . I remembered the days when we use to fight a lot and then you got a crush on me . And the day you asked me to reload for you and the day I beat you so hard you fell . I'm so sorry for not being a girl to you guys . Especially to DNA, Sunil and Amril . I was a total boy! But I think things changed now . He's been so caring now and he told me he's not the devil I use to know anymore . And he was so sweet xD He told me to plan for a reunion but I can't . I got much more plans . I really wish to see you guys and be the tomboy who use to hang out with punk guys . Time changed and influenced me . One day, we'll meet again, Promise :)

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

How I wish You were mine

10th Grade
As I sat there in English class, I stared at the boy next to me . He was my so-called "best friend" . I stared at his black , soft hair , and wished he was mine . But he didn't notice me like that , and I knew it . After class , he walked up to me and asked me for the notes he had missed the day before and i handed them to him . He said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek . I wanted to tell him , I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends , I love him but I'm just too shy , and I don't know why .

11th Grade
The phone rang . On the other end , it was him . He was in tears , mumbling on and on about how his love had broke his heart . He asked me to come over because he didn't want to be alone , so I did . As I sat next to him on the sofa , I stared at his soft eyes , wishing he was mine . After 2 hours , one Drew Barrymore movie , and three bags of chips , he decided to go to sleep . He looked at me, said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek . I want to tell him , I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends , I love him but I'm just too shy , and I don't know why .

Senior Year
The day before prom he walked to my locker . "My date is sick" he said , "She's not going to go well , I didn't have a date , and in 7th grade , we made a promise that if neither of us don't have dates , we would go together just as best friends" . So we did . Prom night , after everything was over , he was standing at my front door step . He stared at me as I smiled at him and stared at me with his crystal eyes . I want him to be mine , but he isn't think of me like that , and I know it . Then he said "I had the best time , thanks !" and gave me a kiss on the cheek . I want to tell him , I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends , I love him but I'm just too shy , and I don't know why .

Graduation Day
A day passed , then a week , then a month . Before I could blink , it was graduation day . I watched as his perfect body floated like an angel up on stage to get his diploma . I wanted him to be mine , but he didn't notice me like that , and I knew it . Before everyone went home , he came to me in his smock and hat , and cried as I hugged him . Then he lifted his head from my shoulder and said , "You're my best friend , thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek . I want to tell him , I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends , I love him but I'm just too shy , and I don't know why .

A Few Years Later
That boy is getting married now . I watched he say "I do" and drive off to his new life , married to another girl . I wanted him to be mine , but he didn't see me like that , and I knew it . But before he drove away , he came to me and said "You came!" . He said "thanks" and kissed me on the cheek . I want to tell him , I want him to know that I don't want to be just friends , I love him but I'm just too shy , and I don't know why .

Years passed , I looked down at the coffin of a boy who used to be my "best friend" . At the service , they read a diary entry he had wrote in his high school years . This is what it read : I stare at her wishing she was mine , but she doesn't notice me like that , and I know it . I want to tell her , I want her to know that I don't want to be just friends , I love her but I'm just too shy , and I don't know why . I wish she would tell me she loved me ! 'I wish I did too .' I thought to my self , and I cried . 

Reblogged from Shumu Hamid's blog :)

Sunday, December 5, 2010

 I was reading a senior's blog and found out she was a belieber . And then almost all of the post I've read at her blog was about bieber . And I was like " I need to follow her blog! " And then I found this video . And I was like "Gosh,you're so freaking cute bieber" And then I shared it on facebook . And I was like "I love you more and more bieber" And now I'm posting this video at my blog . And I'm like "Baby Baby Baby Oooooh"

I EFFING LOVE YOU BABY<333333333333333333

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

I'm Leaving

Wether its packing up or stay . Mom said its up to me . I need to leave . I can't stand everything thats been happening to me since I landed my foot there . Fights, asshole bitches, misunderstandings, two-faced friends . Why can't you just let me do the things I wanna do . I just wanna be me, I don't understand why . Would you wanna bring me down? I'm tired of rumors starting, I'm sick of being followed, I'm sick of people lying saying what they want about me . Why can't they back up off me . Why can't they let me live? I never find the answers to my own questions . But I need to stay . I made friends with amazing people here . Its impossible for me to find one like them in the new school . Its hard to find genuine jewels like them . Or it'll just get worse . 

I'm at the end of the road . Should I turn around? Or should I go on? I don't know

Lets just fall inlove again

I think I've lost the urge to be inlove