Monday, December 20, 2010

Kepp Holding On

I just can't help it . I woke up with a nightmare in my memory . It was Faris . I was with Faris at the hospital . Mimi and Zahar was there . I remembered suddenly a flat line appeared at the EKG . Faris's mom, Puan Aini was shouting, screaming for a nurse . Blank, yeah, I couldn't think of anything . The doctor came in and checked him . He shook his head . What does that mean? Puan Aini cried with a scream at the top of her lungs . Mimi and Zahar sort of understood the whole thing . Tuan Zulkifli, Faris's father entered the room and walked straight towards his beloved wife, and hugged her . 

"Our boy is in a better place now"

Okay, it was it . It was finally IT . That was the ending .
I opened my eyes . Astaghfirullah . And here I am, blogging it . I can't help crying . It won't happen right? Maybe it was a reaction for me being too worried . I tried calling his phone and left a message in his voicemail . Then, I was in the past . The moment I first saw him, he was great . And then our first hang out together . He laughed seeing me, I'm not gonna tell why -.- And then Zahar's pool party, amazing . I was stuck with him, LOL . Hey Dude, please don't go and stay here? I need you, I need you with my journey

Ya Allah, please show me the signs that he'll be okay . I can't do anything but pray . Please Ya Allah, help me, help everyone! Help him . It just too much pressure . Now my senior, my bestfriend's Mother and him is lying at the hospital bed . My bestfriend's Mom, H1N1 . My senior, coma . Faris, coma too? I have no idea . I was able to relax yesterday . But now the frustration is back . I just hope I'm strong enough for all of this . Will I? Am I gonna give up again like I use to? Am I gonna live a misreable life, forever? Will I see his face again? I just hope some news would come up and make me wanna jump over the moon . Can you make that happen? I'm giving myself to you Ya Allah
I'm scared, afraid, that this might be the last goodbye, forever . I'm gonna visit you again . Whatever it takes to see you, I promise . I'm trying, I'm still thinking straight . I'm not gonna jump from a building, no, never again . I wanna go through 2011 with everyone, you .  
So please wake up buddy, I can't lose someone like you

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